HERTIAGE HALLS

                                                "Be who you are and say what you feel . . .

  because those who mind don't matter . . .

                                             and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

Love is a Score of Zero

"Love is a score of zero.

In life, we want love and we want to end up with a score of zero. We want zero regrets, zero embarrassments, zero frustrations, zero guilt, zero debts. 

"It’s the same in the gospel. We ultimately want to end up with a score of zero. 

Zero separation between us and our families, zero distance between me and my God, zero reasons for him to be ashamed of me, zero things I wouldn’t give up to be closer to him, the list goes on. In calculus there is a relationship between zero (which is love) and infinity. The limit of the function of (1/x) ((one over x)) as x approaches infinity, is zero. Let’s break it down.

• When I say limit, think “potential."
• So, the limit (potential) of 1 over x… as x approaches infinity is zero.
• 1 is Christ. He is the one and only begotten son, He is the first and the last, He is number one.
•   X is us. We are x. Me, you, x.
•   Infinity is the atonement because the atonement is infinite. It covers everything in all times, all things, all places, everything. Infinity: atonement
•  The (potential) of 1 over x (of Christ over us) as x approaches infinity (as we approach the atonement) is zero.

"The potential of Christ over us as we approach the atonement, is zero. Through the atonement, we have the potential to earn a score of zero. Zero guilt, zero regrets, and zero difference between my will and God's will." -Emily Asher

My roommate who inspires me.

The day, not the camera, was absolutely flawless,

warm, and beautiful.

Godly Suffering

Someone once told me that suffering is just a frame of mind. They said it was a choice and with a conscious decision it could be altered. If you choose to have a positive attitude in your trials than you can overcome suffering. However, I believe that suffering is real. No matter how hard I try to have a positive mindset, loneliness, anxiety, uncertainty, physical pain, and death aren't of a figurative mental nature. I also know that Jesus Christ suffered for me and His suffering was of the most intricate, intense, and deliberate of all kinds.

Suffering isn't something that can be wished away, forgotten, or ignored. Although none of us want to admit this, suffering is an eternal truth that endures even past this life:

"If God suffers as mortal parents do when one of their children suffers, then as long as God procreates, he will suffer."
          -The Infinite Atonement

"The suffering of Jesus Christ was not a single episode,----one short hour, one short three years: the suffering of Jesus Christ was the revelation of the eternal fact that God is from eternity the Life-giver, and that giving life costs God something as it costs us something."
          -B.H. Roberts

May I suggest that it's not suffering that goes away or changes, but what really changes is us.

How come we agreed to life on the earth if we knew we would suffer? How come God is willing to create life if He knows it will cost Him something?

I believe it is through the eternal progression of suffering we learn how to subdue its effects when we weigh it against what we are willing to suffer for: A mother for her child, a husband for his wife, the Savior for our sins. It is because paying a price for something gives it worth. Someday we will be resilient Gods and Goddesses who understand the cost of suffering is a price we are willing to pay.

My Medical Diagnosis

A few things that I think are fair for you to know. I didn't know this until recently: the wall of the heart is made up of three layers: epicardium, myocardium, and endocardium. The heart is located in the middle compartment of the mediastinum in the chest. The heart is divided into four chambers: upper left and right atria; and lower left and right ventricles. I didn't think I would ever tell anyone because I don't want them to worry.

It all started a few weeks ago I woke up with a sharp pain in my chest. It was really hard for me to breathe, so I started to panic. I didn't think anything of it until a few days later, I felt the same pain, [I found out later] -- in my upper left atria. I tried not to think about it, so I just ignored it. I eat healthily and I work out every day. It scared me because in the past few weeks it has only gotten more frequent and has now spread to my lower left and right ventricles. Certain places I walk past, smell, or hear can even trigger the sharp pain. Not only that but the episodes become more intense: sweating palms, uncontrolled shaking, and even my eyes become irritated. I decided to tell people about my condition, but nothing seems to be helping.

A few days ago when I was talking to a good friend I discovered she has it too. We both have the same question: how long does it take a broken heart to heal?

When Will My Refection Show Who I am Inside?

While monotonously getting ready for school today, I realized something. Starting April 27th, for the next year and I half when I look into the mirror, I won't see myself.

Up until this point in my life, looking into a mirror has been for selfish reasons. I have vainly spent countless hours of my life looking at my outward appearance. I have primped, plucked, and plastered various lotions, creams, and make-up repeatedly to achieve the desired hopes of beauty. I have thought phrases such as: "Dang, I look good." OR "I can't believe I have been in public looking like this all day!"

Shortly, putting on my mascara, brushing my teeth, or curling my hair won't be for me. As I am performing my daily rituals, looking into that porcelain surface, I will be thinking about this family, or that woman, or that man, contemplating how I can serve them today. Performing each task will not be out of vanity, but in the motions of muscle memory. Looking in the mirror I hope I will no longer see myself, but a reflection of Christ.

I will not be there to impress anyone. I will not be there to look good or to reach an outward standard of perfection. What I will be doing, is a remodeling, reconstruction, and reformation of spiritual substance in the deepest chasms of my soul. My goal is to never be able look at my outward self in the mirror the same, ever again, for the beauty of the soul outshines any perfect frame.

"Our bodies are shells housing our greater substance."
     -Tammy Hill Professor at BYU.